women. enough said.

Men, you know that women are incredible creatures. A woman is almost inhuman when it comes to selecting her special someone. Her ability to deem his body type appropriate for her in less than ten seconds, assure that their future children will be Brad Pitts and Audrey Hepburns, and by a mere glance give him the go-for-it signal wins her the true feminine reward every time.

Trust me when I say that within one minute of being introduced she is already thinking, “I could marry this guy.” Know that at this point, top priority is whether your last name fits her first name. And yes, she’s already tried it out in her head. But don’t let that dishearten you because other top priorities soon make their way to that top of the list. “Soon” as in within the next couple of minutes.

After you have received a positive vibe from her, you’ll find yourself engaging in conversation about mundane things such as school, work, preferred location, priorities, your hometown, childhood pet, and siblings. Do not be deceived by this casual conversation because she really is just sifting through your filters trying to get a feel for your level of maturity and success/failure in relationships.


So you have passed the introductions with flying colors and the first date is scheduled for Friday night. There are a few things you should be aware of.

First, she appreciates a confirmation text (“Are we still on for tonight?”, it’s as simple as that).

Second, she expects you to come up to her door to pick her up (Yes, even if she lives on the sixth floor of Freshman housing that looks the exact same as 10 other buildings around the area). So help me if you call her to tell her you’re waiting outside…that is an almost immediate turnoff. Use your masculine legs to get your tough butt up to her door.

Third, please open the doors and lead her through the restaurant, or wherever you are going. Just be aware of her presence and appreciate it. Look at her, make eye-contact, smile, and be natural. I promise she will appreciate it if you are casual and comfortable because believe me that she just wants to have a good time with you.

Fourth, watch for her signals when you are at the doorstep. If she’s digging for her keys, tenses up, or it just gets awkward, do not kiss her. Well, you probably shouldn’t kiss her anyways (especially on a first date, unless you’re heartless :)).

Give her a cozy tight squeeze while telling her you had a good time (hopefully you did) and wish her good night. ALERT: if you are not sure you like her DO NOT leave with a “We should do this again sometime, I’ll see you later.” Because if she likes you then she will hold onto that statement. Spare us the disappointment, men.

If you had an enjoyable night, you think you like her, and she seems to return the affection, then you’re smart enough to take it from here. Be yourself, let your personality shine through. Enjoy the blossoming of something beautiful.


Now just some final quirky stuff you should know about women.

She cares about your work ethic, immensely. So don’t be surprised if you come to visit one day and she says the lightbulb is out. Points for you if you jump up and offer to replace it. Double points if she says she cannot figure out the light fixture as well and you do! Do not fail this simple test. It helps her gage your level of care, thoughtfulness, and skill. #realman #heissohandy #lovethisbigguy

During your family gatherings, she will be intensely watching two things. How your parents interact with each other and how you interact with your siblings. Did your dad teach you how to properly treat a woman? Do you love your family and children in general?

Some weird first impressions to be prepared for are your car’s condition on the first date (did you vacuum and does it smell nice?), the environment of the first date, and your quality of conversation and questions (can you keep a conversation going?).

But don’t worry! You’ve got this! We are women after all, which means we really are soft-hearted and kind. We don’t want to hurt your feelings, but we are rightfully picky when it comes to selecting a partner.

Also please remember that if you are right for each other, it will click. The whole thing will just resonate with a good vibe. Even if you really like her and are attracted to her but it is feeling forced, etc. then just take a step back and leave for a while. I think that when two people come together who are right for each other, both will feel comfortably themselves and part after the evening with a feeling of content/positivity.


So c’mon, don’t be so serious 🙂 Just relax and sweep us off our feet because you sure know how to do it!